Tech Horror Stories #1

I went to a client house a few years back on a call for virus removal. I got the call in the evening and I was quite tired from all of the calls I had previously in the day. I figured this would be a great topper for the 16 calls I did prior. I was exhausted needless to say. 

My Horror story starts out as a normal call, however when I get to the customer’s house I find that the male who answered the door was in his undergarments and no shirt on. I figured well okay maybe he was just relaxing. He lead me to the back room where the computer was located. Mind you this room went past all of the kids bedrooms and the master bedroom. I figured okay lets get this over with. As I am passing the master bedroom I see a female laying in bed covered up (You know where this is going I am sure, however I managed to make this as PG as I could) with no clothes on. I said to myself well she may be tired or sick. Boy was I wrong! What happened next will be burned into my brain for the rest of my techie life.

He peeked into the Master bedroom and told the female in bed, “You just wait till i get back in there, I will show you what a bad girl really means”. I thought to myself Oh my God. (Without giving into Rated R Details) I went to do what I was called out to do and the male closed the door and left me to do my work. All of a sudden I hear someone getting slapped and I hear some rough housing comming from the Master Bedroom. I thought to myself Oh God! Really People? I tried to ignore it but I heard strange other noises you hear when gorillas grunt. I started giggling so that they could not hear me. 

The Male Pops in (with sweat all over him) and ask how is it going. I told him I was dong a virus scan and cleaning up some infected files. He then says to the female in the other room “Keep It up hun I will be right there” 

Then thats when what I was think that they were doing was confirmed by a LOUD Buzzing sound followed by the Gorrila Grunts again. Sorry as I am writing this I am laughing my head off because this was one of my most memorable calls. 

Finally I get finished, pack up show the client what happened and told him how to avoid it in the future. I get paid and I leave.

As I was driving down the road in my vehicle I had to pull over get out and had to take a deep breath because I was laughing so hard. It was also an embarrassing moment for me because I had to endure that. 

I get back to the office and I went to my daily debrief from the boss. As this meeting was going on he got a call from our secretary that a customer wanted to talk with him about my performance. It was the same Guy I had just returned from on my last call. My heart dropped because I figured he was calling to complain about me. 

My boss always takes phone calls on speaker phone and was chatting with him about how wonderful and raving about the job I did. The last thing he said was “Please apologize to Dan because my wife and I were having sex and I dont get it very often”